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Балбес
Dunce
Stanislav Vostokov
In almost every house in our village, there was a dog. Only Theodore, the shopkeeper, did not have one. But in the end, even he decided to get a dog. One day, on the weekend, when the store was closed, Theodore went to Moscow and bought himself a dog, the most suspicious type, at the market.
“ What breed is that dog?” asked Anna Petrovna, when the shopkeeper came by with his purchase, past their garden.
“ It does not matter what breed!” waved his hand Theodore. “ And his name in Dunce.”
“ It’s okay Maybe it will be a good guard dog.”
The shopkeeper only shrugged.
“ We will live and see.”
And we saw it really soon. That same night, when the whole village was sleeping, Dunce suddenly started to howl. He howled until the morning.
In the morning, Anna Petrovna ran to Theodore to scold him.
“ Why are you tormenting your dog?” Anna Petrovna yelled.
“How am I tormenting him?” answered Theodore hurtfully.
“ Your tormenting him gravely!” replied Anna Petrovna.
“ I did not even touch him.” responded Theodore.
“ Then maybe your dog is hurt?” guessed Anna Petrovna.
“ Not at all: he just ate a bowl of soup.” Theodore answered.
“ I am warning you,” answered Anna Petrovna “ if you won’t stop tormenting him, I will report you to the police!”
In the next couple of days, the same story happened: At night Dunce woke up and howled, and in the morning someone came to Theodore to complain. The shopkeeper was already almost crying!
“ You should give the dog back to his owner,” Mitrich suggested, “ This is already like the Hound of Baskerville!”
“ But where am I supposed to find his owner?” asked Theodore in confusion.
“ Then at least have him checked by the Vet, because in our village already, because of him, no one can even fall asleep.”
Theodore had nothing left to do, but to get Dunce checked by the Vet. Although the day did not count as a weekend, Theodore locked the store, took Dunce on a leash, and rode him on a train all the way to the city. He came back only at night.
“ So what happened?” asked Mitrich.
“ The doctor responded to the problem, by saying that he was fine,” Theodore responded, frowning, “ Only he has one small defect.”
“ Which one?” asked Mitrich.
“ A speech defect. He does not know how to bark, instead of that he howls. And nobody can do anything about it.”
“ Really!?” asked Mitrich surprised. “ But okay, let him live. Maybe, we will get used to it.”
When everybody knew about the defect that Dunce had, everybody started to feel bad for him and always gave Theodore something delicious for Dunce. And people in the village did actually get used to the night howls, because they knew Theodore is not tormenting Dunce, it is just the dog howled instead of barking.
And then this is what happened. In 3 months, at night, into the store, that was located on the other side of the shopkeeper’s house, crawled in 2 suspicious people. Dunce was the first to realize that something is wrong, and started sniffing around. And then he howled that loud, that even the villagers who were used to the howling sound, were scared. Let alone the strangers and the robbers who were not used to that howling noise, almost went crazy, because of the howling noise. Scared and in panic, they dropped the irons that they were about to rob, and fled the village.
From that point on, Dunce was even more famous in the village ( and now, in a good way), so the villagers carried him more food every day. And the policeman that came to investigate the crime scene after the attempted robbery, said that the dog did not have a defect, but an unusual ability, and then he even asked Theodore if he could buy Dunce from him, and that he would pay him a lot of money.
“ No way!” responded Theodore.
And he was right, obviously, because nobody else owns a dog that has the same defect. A speech defect.
Stanislav Vostokov
In almost every house in our village, there was a dog. Only Theodore, the shopkeeper, did not have one. But in the end, even he decided to get a dog. One day, on the weekend, when the store was closed, Theodore went to Moscow and bought himself a dog, the most suspicious type, at the market.
“ What breed is that dog?” asked Anna Petrovna, when the shopkeeper came by with his purchase, past their garden.
“ It does not matter what breed!” waved his hand Theodore. “ And his name in Dunce.”
“ It’s okay Maybe it will be a good guard dog.”
The shopkeeper only shrugged.
“ We will live and see.”
And we saw it really soon. That same night, when the whole village was sleeping, Dunce suddenly started to howl. He howled until the morning.
In the morning, Anna Petrovna ran to Theodore to scold him.
“ Why are you tormenting your dog?” Anna Petrovna yelled.
“How am I tormenting him?” answered Theodore hurtfully.
“ Your tormenting him gravely!” replied Anna Petrovna.
“ I did not even touch him.” responded Theodore.
“ Then maybe your dog is hurt?” guessed Anna Petrovna.
“ Not at all: he just ate a bowl of soup.” Theodore answered.
“ I am warning you,” answered Anna Petrovna “ if you won’t stop tormenting him, I will report you to the police!”
In the next couple of days, the same story happened: At night Dunce woke up and howled, and in the morning someone came to Theodore to complain. The shopkeeper was already almost crying!
“ You should give the dog back to his owner,” Mitrich suggested, “ This is already like the Hound of Baskerville!”
“ But where am I supposed to find his owner?” asked Theodore in confusion.
“ Then at least have him checked by the Vet, because in our village already, because of him, no one can even fall asleep.”
Theodore had nothing left to do, but to get Dunce checked by the Vet. Although the day did not count as a weekend, Theodore locked the store, took Dunce on a leash, and rode him on a train all the way to the city. He came back only at night.
“ So what happened?” asked Mitrich.
“ The doctor responded to the problem, by saying that he was fine,” Theodore responded, frowning, “ Only he has one small defect.”
“ Which one?” asked Mitrich.
“ A speech defect. He does not know how to bark, instead of that he howls. And nobody can do anything about it.”
“ Really!?” asked Mitrich surprised. “ But okay, let him live. Maybe, we will get used to it.”
When everybody knew about the defect that Dunce had, everybody started to feel bad for him and always gave Theodore something delicious for Dunce. And people in the village did actually get used to the night howls, because they knew Theodore is not tormenting Dunce, it is just the dog howled instead of barking.
And then this is what happened. In 3 months, at night, into the store, that was located on the other side of the shopkeeper’s house, crawled in 2 suspicious people. Dunce was the first to realize that something is wrong, and started sniffing around. And then he howled that loud, that even the villagers who were used to the howling sound, were scared. Let alone the strangers and the robbers who were not used to that howling noise, almost went crazy, because of the howling noise. Scared and in panic, they dropped the irons that they were about to rob, and fled the village.
From that point on, Dunce was even more famous in the village ( and now, in a good way), so the villagers carried him more food every day. And the policeman that came to investigate the crime scene after the attempted robbery, said that the dog did not have a defect, but an unusual ability, and then he even asked Theodore if he could buy Dunce from him, and that he would pay him a lot of money.
“ No way!” responded Theodore.
And he was right, obviously, because nobody else owns a dog that has the same defect. A speech defect.
